By Tonny Oluoch
Research continues to show the importance of two parents as the basis of bringing up children. However, about five out of ten families in Kibera are led by single mothers, meaning that for half of families in the slum, women usually have to play both roles of father and mother.
This is especially the case in informal settlements as you will often hear of fathers in Kibera who have failed to play their roles as they turn their backs on their own families, leaving the children with no father figure.
Experts believe that children who are brought up in the absence of a father figure are on average at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior. Much more so than their peers who live with both their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
With all the negativity coming from Kibera, things might be a little bit different if some fathers played their roles better and stopped loading mothers with a lot of work.
An article from the Standard Digital written by Lonah Kibet on June 19, 2015 states that men’s positive involvement in fatherhood and care-giving can improve gender dynamics and contribute to gender equality, decrease violence and improve the health and well-being of the entire family.
Victor, a standard eight pupil at Jamuhuri Primary School believes that it is pivotal that he has his father around to give him guidance. He has noticed that “most of [his] friends who don’t have fathers have been sent to prison for committing unnecessary offenses, they usually abuse drugs and some of them are even dead.”
Gilbert, a classmate of Victor’s and the only boy among his 3 other sisters said that it is very important for him to have a father around.
“It is easy enough to get all the answers I need about being in a boy, and growing up to be a man,” he said.
Calvin, a father from the slum, believes that if fathers could be around to guide and to protect their kids from getting involved in vices, then the next generation of kids will be good citizens.
If only some fathers could rise up and disagree with some of the acts that happen around the homes then people from Kibera would be given high reverence.
“I am working so hard to ensure that my little boy, Tom, does not go through what I went through as my father was not there to teach me how to become a man. I struggled a lot and I could not share it with anyone because my father was too busy trying to make ends meet and taking Chang’aa. I found myself in a gang and before I knew it, I was a bad boy. I regret doing some things and I cannot let my kid do the same things that I did.” Calvin said.
At least seven out of ten people in Kibera think that some of the people who took part in the anti-IEBC protests lacked good guidance from a father figure on how to deal with issues and not involving war or any kind of force.
“Yes I believe that some of the young men who took part in the protests lacked guidance from a father figure, I think when the parents focus more on teaching young men of ways in which they can lead their families when they find themselves in one, then men will abandon their morals less,” said Onyango from Kianda, Kibera.
Onyango stressed a lot on fathers being available when the children needed them and always giving guidance to solve some life issues
Ghetto Mirror 